"NOT" -SO-NATURAL
Dear Gary and Readers of The Big Wobble,
Well, we are heading into a rather interesting Fall season just full of great news. This just makes us feel so much better, so here is some more great news. And I will make this short so you can go eat, drink, vape, and take some “Not”-so-natural health supplements.
Bill measuring the radiation levels on a dead whale in Alaska last year.
Let's talk about our healthy diets, even some of that organic fish loved by millions called salmon. But first, I would encourage you to grab Killer algae bloom shake, yum! Do not worry about gaining weight from gulping too much of it. Unofficially, it is called the "very fast death factor shake." Yep, it has been said that the CIA at least at one time used it in suicide pills so that their agents could off-themselves if needed when captured by the enemy. And ladies, why not pick up some of those pills yourself? After all, when he dies in his sleep it will be ruled “Death by Covid!” There is a super deal on these shakes right now in Florida, but you can get them in many coastal places. Now do not be disappointed, they only come in the color RED.
But do not lose heart! You can grab one even on a remote trail in Sierra National Forest. Yep, just hike the Devil's Gulch Trail. While you're at it, pack some arsenic cookies and some Corn Chips full of all the toxic poisons. Yes, that toxic sludge was needed for the corn crops to kill insects, promote growth, and kill unwanted weeds.
And guys, you will not need to bring for that hike a camp stove to cook this year's Alaska salmon. You guessed it! It has already been cooked. So sorry all you sushi lovers. And the radiation numbers are up over the last check from two years ago, thank you, Fukushima! I know this as I pack with me my meter (a Quarta, Radex, model RD 1503, made to test gamma radiation in homes, offices, food products, construction materials, soil and etc.). It is produced in Russia and at last, check is the most common meter used by average citizens of Japan living near some hot spot not often mentioned anymore.
I am so grateful for the Fukushima incident so now I have a lighter load to haul on said hike. As of today, I have not been able to find one salmon or halibut that was not radioactive. Yep, I have only tested one whale so it might just be a fluke but this radioactive gray whale was radioactive!!! My guess is that Muktuk (whale blubber), will not need to be cooked as well.
Yep, I do not want to carry any extra weight because ever since I got “Not”-so-natural health supplements JAB, I have a little shortness of breath, pressure on the chest, my face droops, impotence, and my thoughts don’t seem to be mine at all. Yep, I am going to need all the help I can get trudging that California trail.
Ummm, that was a grand feast I just gulped down. Wow! Check it out... I am glowing. I won’t need my headlamp either. Maybe that is how that drone just found me!! Well, it’s time to light up a vape and finish this day with some Electrosmog!
Once again, I quote Aldous Huxley: “Facts don’t cease to exist just because they are ignored."
That’s it from Alaska for now.
Bill Laughing-Bear
Ha ha ha....good one! Giggled through the satire! Thanks for mentioning FL!!
ReplyDeleteYeah, a very sarcastic post from Bill, hahaha, good stuff!
ReplyDeleteSINCE I AM VEGAN I DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE FISH ASPECT BUT NOW I NEED TO CHECK IF MY VEGGIES ARE GLOWING IN THE DARK. THANKS
ReplyDelete